Song Sample:

Song Backstory:

This is a song concept I have been working on for a while (since May 24, 2014). It is based on a list of attributes that I called "The Gods of My Lifetime". This is for the book I have been writing about my experiences on this road called life. Each decade presents its own attributes and realizations. 

This song is just the first part of the list: "The God of My Childhood"

When I learned to stop reacting and take responsibility for my thoughts and emotions, I had a moment of clarity and saw that these characteristics of God were actually the failings of my parents in how they treated me -- their behaviors being what they learned from their parents. I then learned to forgive them and help them realize these things in themselves too before they died.

This is about breaking generational trauma. Confronting it. Taking responsibility. Ending the cycle.

Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
I prayed to a God who turned a deaf ear
To the girl who was trying so hard to be good
Unfair, unbending, quick with the fear
Rules that would shift like sand where I stood
He showed me the stars, then laughed as I fell
Kept score of my failures, ignored what went well
Cold as the silence that followed each prayer
I carried that weight, not knowing it wasn’t Yours to bear

[Chorus]
You were the God of my childhood
The face that I gave to the pain
Unfair, tyrannical, distant and cruel
But the truth cut through like rain
Those weren’t Your hands that held the rod
Those were the scars my parents carried
From parents before them, lost in the dark
The God of my childhood… was only their broken hearts

[Verse 2]
I stopped reacting, I looked inside
Took the blame for the storms in my mind
And suddenly saw through clearer eyes
The cycle that passed down through blood and through time
They gave what they knew, what was given to them
Basic needs met, but the hunger within
Never explained, never asked how I felt
Just echoes of wounds they never could name themselves

[Chorus]
You were the God of my childhood
A mirror of all they endured
Controlling, critical, changing the game
But love can rewrite what was blurred
I laid down the anger, I opened my hands
And broke the chain where it stood in the sand

[Bridge]
I became their friend in the twilight years
Helped them forgive what they couldn’t outrun
We laughed, and we cried, and we wiped away tears
Before the light in their eyes was done
No more blame, no more shadow to run from
The greatest gift I could give my own son
Was a clean slate, a heart that could trust
No baggage passed down — the cycle stopped with us

[Final Chorus]
You were the God of my childhood
But I see You different now
In the grace that forgave them, the peace I allow
In the love that flows forward somehow
Thank you for the hard road that led me to see
Understanding… and finally…
Forgiveness sets the captive free

[Outro]
The God of my childhood…
Was learning to love through me
The God of my childhood…
Now walks in forgiveness with me

© ℗ Dr Ziw Music (ASCAP)